Their Poverty Is Relative

The first week of June, EK and I celebrated her upcoming graduation from vet school with a brief trip to Mexico. Despite living just north of the border for 30 years, I'd never really explored the country, never even been more than a few miles south of Tijuana, and what I'd seen there hadn't exactly piqued my interest in further trips.

But this time we discovered the real Mexico, from ancient Mayan ruins to perfect, unpeopled Caribbean beaches, from underground rivers to open ocean snorkeling among squid, sea turtles and silver schools of fish, from lines of leaf-cutter ants to jungle canopy families of spider and howler monkeys. Not to mention world-class margaritas, guacamole and street tacos. Or the dogs, everywhere dogs, flea-bitten but free and just as eager for affection as our pampered suburban pooches. What a magical shore for both of us to wash up upon after a stormy few months of exams and funerals.

But it was the people we met in the village of Tulum, 80 miles south of Cancun, who made our four days with them such a treat. Janet and Jack, childhood sweethearts reunited after 30 years, now owners and managers of the petite and charming Posada Luna del Sur, These two have mastered the fine art of hospitality. We left feeling we'd gained genuine new friends. And another one, Manuel Galinda, our winsome and fearless guide through watery caves and leafy trails. We found him so delightful we invited him to meet us again at dinner our last night before flying home.

Of all these Mexican memories, it was something Manuel said that most sticks with me. We were deep in the Yucatan jungle, having driven for miles through clouds of butterflies to arrive at the Punta Laguna reserve, home of the wild monkeys. Look, Manuel said and pointed toward a white-washed, thatch-roofed community store near the entrance. In the doorway, a beautiful Mayan baby lay face-down in the grit and germs of the concrete floor, fast asleep. She was a toddler, probably about 18 months old. There were no adults in sight; I could only guess she belonged to the storekeepers.

By the time we'd finished our tour of the reserve, seen the monkey families and canoed across the lagoon and back, the little Mayan girl had finished her nap. She was sitting now just beside the doorway, quietly watching a gaggle of other children wandering to and from the store. They were all a little ragged looking, barefoot and dusty, the older girls carrying the babies on slim young hips. Probably they lived in the humble palapa houses just across the road.

They grew up speaking Mayan, Manuel told us, learning Spanish as a second language when they went to school. "They have schools here then?" I asked. We were so far into the jungle, the few houses we'd seen so scattered, and the little store the only perceptible village center.

"Oh yes," Manuel said. "They go to school."

"But what then?" I asked. "Such extreme poverty. Do these children have any hope of further education, of bettering their situation?"

And Manuel, so kind, so patient, so familiar with gringo thinking, looked at me and smiled. "Their poverty is relative," he said.

I was stupid still. "What do you mean?"

"That little girl we saw," he said. "She was dirty, but her cheeks were full, yes? She was well-fed, healthy."

Suddenly, I got it. "So how arrogant of me, how condescending, to come here, to their home, and assume that because their lifestyle is so different from mine they would even want to change it."

Manuel smiled again, his eyes actually twinkling.

These days, back in the swirl of my oh-so-American life, I think often of our magical visit to Tulum, of my wise new friend Manuel, and of the beautiful Mayan baby, growing up in the midst of a great, green jungle, wild monkeys leaping through the trees above her as she sleeps.